woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I'm too high and old for this...
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