Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
