why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
