do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
