some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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