after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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