The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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