I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
