The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Blood and glitter go together right?
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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