these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Randomize