I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
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