every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize