So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
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