i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
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