He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Randomize
