i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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