lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
