sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
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