accomplished twins. life is a go
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
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