Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Randomize
