you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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