im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
