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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
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