My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
