It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
