I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
