I can tuck mytits in my pants
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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