I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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