when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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