I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Randomize