my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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