you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
