So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Randomize
