Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I need to stop coming to work sober
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
