I feel like abortions should bother me more
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
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