I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
