i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
he had hair everywhere except his balls
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Randomize