dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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