I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I just blew my weed a kiss
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
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