Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize
