Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize