New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize