guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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