I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
