I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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