Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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