It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
