No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
