I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
