It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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