Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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