i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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