you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
