bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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