Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
