I think I am morally bankrupt
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
