Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
