I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
