I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
A+ Viking dick
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
