Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
