me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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