i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Randomize
