Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Randomize
