well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
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