her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize
